>>921742/2
I was no longer conscious that I was nude. On the
other hand, neither was I conscious of having
donned clothes. The bath did something to me in
the way of clothing me. What, I don't know.
But immediately I came up garbed somehow by
the magic contact of the water, people began com-
ing into the patio, crossing over it and going down
the southern steps and off into the inexpressible
turquoise. As they passed me, they cast curiously-
amused glances at me. And everybody nodded and
spoke to me. They had a kindness, a courtesy, a
friendliness, in their faces and addresses that quite
overwhelmed me. Think of all the saintly, at-
tractive, magnetic folk you know, imagine them
constituting the whole social world-no misfits, no
tense countenances, no sour leers, no preoccupied
brusqueness or physical handicap-and the whole
environment of life permeated with an ecstatic har-
mony as universal as air, and you get an idea of
my reflexions in those moments. I recall exclaim-
ing to myself:
"How happy everybody seems!-how
jolly!
Every person here conveys something that makes
me want to know him personally." Then with a
sense of shock it dawned upon me: "/ have known
everyone of these persons at some time or other,
personally, intimately! But they're sublimated now
- physically glorified-not as I knew them in life
at all."
I CANNOT make anyone underst and how natu-
ral it all seemed that I should be there. After that
first presentment of dying-which experience had
ended in the most kindly ministration-all terror
and strangeness left me and I never felt more alive.
It never occurred to me that I was in "heaven"
or if it did it occasioned me no more astonishme nt
that I should be there than that at some period of
my adolescent consciousness it had occurred to me
that I was on "earth" . After all, do we know much
more about the one than the other?
I had simply ended a queer voyage through
bluish void and found myself in a charming place
among affable worthwhile people who saw in me
something that amused them to the point of quiet
laughter. Yet not a laughter that I could resent. I
had no mad obsession to go off at once in search
of Diety or look up Abraham Lincoln or Julius
Caesar. I was quite content to stroll timidly in the
vicinity of the portico by which I had entered this
harmo]J.ious place and be greeted with pleasant nods
by persons whose individualities were uncannily
familiar.
They were conventionally garbed, these persons,
both men and women. I recall quite plainly that
11ome of the latter wore hats. The big, broad- .
shouldered, blue-eyed fellow in white duck who
had first received me with his hand beneath the
nape . of my neck always hovered in my vicinity,
I recall, and kept an eye on my whereabouts and
deportment . . . .
I pledge my prestige and reputation that I talked
with these people, identified many of them, called
others by their wrong names and was corrected,
saw and did things that night almost a year ago
that it is verboten for me to narrate in a magazine
article but which I recall with a minuteness of de-
tail as graphic as I see the keys of my typewriter
now under my fingers. Regardless of the fact that
imagin ation is the chief asset in one of my vocation,
I am not given to particularly graphic dreams. Cer-
tainly we never dream by the process of coming
awake first, knowing that we are suffering some
kind of heart or head attack, swooning and coming
abruptly conscious again in the arms of two kindly
persons who reassure one audibly that everything
is quite all right. Nor do the impressions of a
dream stay with us-at least they have never so
stayed with me-that after a year such an experi-
ence is as vivid as many of my experiences in Si-
beria during the late world war.
I went somewhere, penetrated to a distinct place
and had an actual physical experience. I found
myself an existing entity in a locality where per-
sons I had always called "dead" were not dead at
all. They were very much alive.
The termination of this journey-my exit so to
speak-was as peculiar as my advent.
Instantly, instead of real biliousness, I was
caught in a swirl of bluish vapor that seemed to
roll in from nowhere in particular. Instead of
plunging prone I was lifted and levitated. Up, up,
up I seemed to tumble / eet first despite the ludi-
crousness of the description. A long, swift, swirling
journey of this. And then something clicked. Some-
thing in my body. The best analogy is the sound my
repeating deer-rifle makes when I work the ejector
mechanism-a flat, metallic, automatic sensation.
Next I was sitting up in bed in my physical body
again, as wide awake as I am at this moment,
staring at the patch of window where the Cali-
fornia starlight was visible, and a reflexion of
physical exhaustion through my chest, diaphragm
and abdomen that lasted several minutes. Not any
digestive distress, you understand. Simply a great
weariness in my torso as though I had passed
through a great physical ordeal and my heart must
accelerate to make up the lost energy.
"That wasn't a dream!" I cried aloud. And my
voice awoke Laska who straightened to her
haunches.
...